Dear American Girl,
My friend read my diary without my permission. I’m really mad and don’t know what to say to her. My diary is supposed to be private and just for my eyes. Can you help me? What should I do?
Here's your advice:
What’s done is done. It’s OK to be mad, but I’d suggest talking things out. You could say, “I’m really upset by what you did. My diary is private and I didn’t want anyone else to see it.” If she really is sorry, you could try to forgive and forget.
-Caddie, age 12, New York
Do you think she read it because she wanted to tease you about it? Or is it possible that she read it because she thought you wouldn’t care? Either way, tell her that you were hurt by what she did.
-Julianne, age 12, California
Ask her how she would feel if you read her diary without her permission. This might help her understand why you’re upset.
-Mary, age 12, Wisconsin
Tell your friend you’re upset that she read your diary. Make her promise not to tell anyone anything that she read. Make it clear that you’ll have to learn to trust her again. Hopefully she will take this seriously.
-An American Girl fan
Talk to your friend about what she did. If she is mad that you’re confronting her, and isn’t sorry for what she did, then she isn’t acting like a very good friend.
-Brooke, age 11, California
I know this isn’t the best solution, but you could try hiding your diary. You shouldn’t have to hide it from a friend though; she should know your diary is off limits.
-Kayleigh, age 11, North Carolina
Explain that you need her to respect your privacy. It’s not OK to look at personal items that are not your own. This should be a good learning experience for her.
-Anna, age 13, Texas
Even if she is your best friend, that does not give her permission to read your diary or look through your things. Tell her that you’d appreciate an apology.
-An American Girl fan
Ask her why she read your diary. Give her a chance to explain why she did it before jumping to conclusions. Once she has said her side of things, it can be your turn to express how you feel. Don’t be afraid to be honest—if you’re mad, tell her.
-Emma, age 12, New York
I think that you should write her a letter. Explain why it’s not OK to read someone else’s secrets. Writing a letter might help you explain what you want to say. Good luck.
-Chloe, age 11, Washington
Try to look at this situation in a positive way. If you two can get through this, I’m sure you’ll become closer friends. It’s OK to be upset, but maybe your friendship can grow. Try to work it out.
-Rachel, age 12, Arizona
You could say, “I know you read my diary. That was private and I write down all of my personal thoughts in there. I need a place all to myself where I can think and sort things out. Please try to understand that and don’t read my diary again.” Wait before you say this, because it will be better once you’ve cooled down.
-Julie, age 12, Pennsylvania