Dear American Girl,
I got really mad and said something that wasn’t very nice to a friend of mine. It’s been a week, but she still isn’t talking to me and I don’t know what to do. Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? How did you fix the situation?
Here's your advice:
Once, my friend and I got into a fight about something really stupid. I felt bad and ended up sending her an email and making her a custom edition of a magazine that I wrote. Even though we still have disagreements, we always make up in the end. That’s one of the creative ways we did it!
-Chloe, age 12, Virginia
I’ve been in a situation like this, and it can be tough. I didn’t chase after my friend. Instead, I made her a card. Soon, we made up. My advice is just to let your friend cool down.
-An American Girl fan
This has happened to me before, and fixing what you said could be difficult depending on what type of friend you have. Try making her laugh—that worked with my friend. You also can speak to an adult about this problem.
-Grace, age 8, California
I think we all say things when we’re angry that we don’t really mean. My mom always tells me to think before I speak because once the words leave my mouth, they have the power to help or hurt others. You could try writing a note to your friend that expresses how sorry you are. Don’t give up on your friendship!
-Kelsea, age 12, Kentucky
What you should do is apologize. Tell your friend that you made a mistake. Communication helps friendships get stronger.
-Halle, age 9, Missouri
I have a group of friends, and one person in our group is kind of sensitive. Sometimes she gets upset with one of us. Her response is to not speak to the person for about 10 minutes. If we give her space, then she’s fine after that. Maybe your friend is like that.
-An American Girl fan
One time I told my friend that people thought she was a third-grader because she was so short. Right after I said it, I felt super bad. She was mad at me, but I wrote her a note saying that I missed having her around and that I didn’t want our friendship to be ruined. She forgave me.
-Abbey, age 10, New York
Writing an “I’m sorry” note can mean a lot. You can make a card for your friend (it always means more when you make it yourself), and tape it to her locker. She still might be upset, but at least she will know that you are sorry.
-Leah, age 12, Michigan
Try to catch your friend sometime when no one else is around so that you have a good chance to talk privately.
-Jolie, age 12, Texas
I have been in your shoes many times. I think that you should summon the courage to walk up to your friend and explain to her that you didn’t mean to hurt her. Apologize, and if you are sincere, your friend may forgive you.
-Savannah, age 11, Florida
Try sending your friend an apologetic email or a text with a cute picture in it. She might laugh and forget she is mad! If that doesn’t work, try making her a card. Your friend might crack up and forgive you. If, not don’t push it. Over time, your friendship might heal.
-Larissa, age 10, New Jersey
Start by apologizing to your friend. If she doesn’t forgive you right away, don’t get upset. Explain your side and that you didn’t mean it at all. If that doesn’t do the trick right away, give your friend some space and time to think about it. You can’t do more than that. She is probably hurt and needs time to herself.
-Diana, age 11, Connecticut
I’ve said things that I’ve regretted as well. Maybe you should go up to your friend and apologize in person—not by texting. Say something like, “I’m sorry I said that. I was really upset, and I feel terrible. Can we talk about this? I don’t want to end our friendship.” I hope your friend will understand!
-Sarah, age 12, New York