Dear American Girl,

My two best friends are fighting with each other, and they keep putting me in the middle of their fight. I want to be friends with both of them, but they want me to pick a side. What should I do?
-Stuck in the middle

Here's your advice:

Don’t pick sides. I have been in a similar situation and it can be really hard. Remain loyal to both friends and hopefully things will turn out OK in the end.
-Starette, age 14, Florida

Try talking to both of them together. You could say, “I want to be friends with both of you. I can’t pick one side.”
-An American Girl fan

Talk to your school counselor. He or she can give you advice or even sit down and talk with all three of you.
-Brooke, age 10, Texas

Tell them how things are feeling from your perspective. Explain that you’re tired of the fighting and that you love both of them the same. If you’re honest with them they might see how silly fighting is.
-An American Girl fan

Explain that it’s not fun being around friends that are fighting all of them time. Tell them politely that that you don’t want to hang out until they work things out.
-Anne, age 13, Nevada

Remember that you don’t have to be part of the fight. Be kind to both of your friends and say, “I don’t like being in the middle. I’m not going to choose a side.”
-Heather, age 12, Pennsylvania

If you’re up for it, you could be the peacemaker. Ask each girl to explain calmly why she’s upset. Sometimes feeling like someone’s listening can really help. Then ask each of them to talk to each other calmly. Good luck.
-Emily, age 11, California

You could distance yourself from them for a few days. Maybe they will work things out in that time.
-Delaney, age 13, Florida

Spend equal time with each friend. Even if they don’t want to be friends with each other, you can still be friends with both of them. Maybe things will blow over and they will miss hanging out as a group.
-Emilia, age 12, Oregon

Talk to a parent or someone you trust about how you feel. They can try and help you come up with a solution.
-Jayda, age 9, California

You could try to remind them of all the great times you’ve had together as a group. You could say things like, “Remember that time when we went to the park…” or “Remember how much we laughed at my birthday party?”
-Madison, age 11, Oklahoma

If they really won’t stop fighting you could hang out with other friends. It’s not fun to be around angry people all the time.
-Anna, age 10, Minnesota

You shouldn’t have to pick a side. It’s a good thing that you’re being loyal to both of them. However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stick up for yourself. Tell them that they’re making you uncomfortable by asking you to pick sides. Friends shouldn’t do that.
-Julie, age 12, New Jersey

I was stuck in a similar situation with my friends. Do you have a favorite hobby or activity? Whenever your friends are fighting leave and go do an activity that makes you happy. It will take your mind off of the fight and you won’t get involved.
-Kimi, age 10, Virginia

Sometimes friends drift apart and that’s OK. If that is what’s happening with your friends, it’s sad but things will probably work out. It’s OK to spend time with each friend alone.
-An American Girl fan

HELP! from You